


Kismet

by Sinistretoile



Category: The Deep Blue Sea (2011)
Genre: F/M, Feels, Freddie gets closure after Hester, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 23:58:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3430340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinistretoile/pseuds/Sinistretoile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Freddie meets an old friend (flame?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kismet

Alice sat in the cafe, drinking hot coffee. The English-speaking waitress had looked at her funny when she'd ordered it. The sugar and brisk taste helped her to think clearly. She tucked her chesnut brown hair behind her ear. Her face upturned to the glorious sun. Sweat rolled down her skin beneath the blouse.  
“Alice?” Her jade green eyes opened to the baby's governess. “We're back from the walk. Did you enjoy your coffee?”  
“Yes, Nancy, it's quite different from the coffee we have back home. I'd like to get some to take back with us.” The governess nodded. Alice turned in her chair, pressing her knees together beneath the skirt. She leaned into the stroller and kissed the sleeping infant on the forehead. “How long did it take him to get to sleep?”  
“About a quarter past.”  
“That's not bad. Let's have lunch then head back to the hotel.”  
“Yes, Ms. Taylor.” The older woman settled down in the chair across from Alice. The dotting mother looked up from her pink-cheeked blonde boy. A group of men across the courtyard drew her attention. More pointedly, a laugh. A familiar, rich laugh that immediately made her smile.  
“Nancy, would you excuse me for a moment?” Alice stood and siddled around the stroller, careful not to bump it and wake the baby. Her heartbeat sped up. Her lips parted as her breath became shallow. Could it really be him? Her heels clicked over the cobblestones.  
“Freddie!” The tall one in the charcoal gray blazer looked up, hearing his name. The short ginger next to him elbowed him and nodded in her direction. Freddie plucked the cigarette from his lips as he turned. It slid from his fingertips, the curling smoke twisting as it tumbled to the stones.  
Alice didn't stop. She walked right up to him and into him. Her deceptively strong arms wrapped around his shoulders. Her lips caught his, her tongue invading his mouth. She pulled him down and into the kiss, pressing her body to his. Freddie, caught by surprise, stiffened. Then his lips remembered hers, his hands found her waist and held her.  
Freddie broke the kiss when he found his voice. “Alice. But how? I thought-I mean-we saw-”  
“I know.” They gazed at each other, long lost souls found at last. The ginger cleared his throat. Freddie and Alice turned to his four companions that simply stared at them.  
The ginger spoke up. “Freddie, you want to introduce us to your friend?”  
“Oh, of course.” He withdrew his left hand from her waist, turning her with his right and slipping his arm around her instinctively. “Gents, this is Alice.”  
Alice extended her hand. “Alice Taylor.” The ginger shook her hand first, the other three going around the circle.  
“Alice, this is Sam, Max, George and Henry.”  
“Pleasure.” She looked back over her shoulder. Nancy had turned in her chair and was watching her. The matron's face had screwed up in a disapproving scowl. “Listen, Freddie.” She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and scribbled something. “I'm in the city for the rest of the week. At the Chester Grande. This is my room number. Call anytime. I'll get the message if I'm out in the city. And don't pay any mind to Nancy.”  
Alice looked up at him, her eyes sweeping back and forth over his face. She couldn't and didn't hide the joyous smile on her face. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and placed a sweet kiss upon his lips. She took a deep breath and placed another at the corner of his mouth.  
The baby's sharp cry jolted her into motion. “You have no idea how good it is to see you.” She left the half circle of his arm, his fingertips brushing the small of her back, and ran across the courtyard. Freddie and the other pilots watched after her.  
“Who was that?”  
“She was a nurse. During the war. We met outside Paris. I thought she was dead.”  
He watched her conversing with the older woman. She looked utterly joyous. The older woman kept stealing glances over her shoulder at them while the pair enjoyed their lunch. He glimpsed them taking turns rocking the stroller back and forth.

Freddie headed back to the rooms with his fellow pilots. They talked amiably about irrelevant things. His mind kept being drawn back to Alice. He placed the room number between the alarm clock and the phone. He'd go visit after tomorrow's flight. For now, he put her out of his mind and enjoyed the evening with his friends.  
Sunshine fell across Freddie's eyes. He rolled over and smashed the pillow into something more comfortable under his neck. He started to drift back off to sleep, but he was reminded of the afternoon before. He absently touched his lips where Alice had kissed him. He'd forgotten how good and sweet her lips had felt against his.  
He rolled over onto his back. Her memories curled through his mind. She wasn't anything like Hester. She wasn't quiet or proper but just as stunning. Alice had a strength that Hester lacked. He pushed the painful comparison away. How could two women he loved be so polar opposite?  
Alice swept her hair back from her face. The dust in the air scratched her eyes and made it hard for her to breathe. This cigarette probably didn't help. She took another drag, the acrid smoke burning out the dust and pushing what it couldn't further down. Her head hung between her knees.  
“Hey you! Solider! Give us a hand, mate!” She looked up then around. He must have been talking to her since she wore an infantryman's uniform and was the only one outside. The white outfits they had to wear showed blood to brightly for her nowadays. “Oh sorry, thought you were-”  
“Not a woman.” She stood, flicking her cigarette away from the building into the rubble. Brushing herself off, she headed in their direction. “What happened?”  
“Plane shot down not far from here. Some kids found him hanging by his parachute in a bombed out warehouse."  
“Get him inside, we'll have to triage him. You boys just keep coming.” She swept her hands through her hair, the blood and the dust forgotten. She braced her shoulder under the arm of the unconscious pilot. He moaned. “It's alright, sugar. We'll get you fixed up as much as we can.” The other pilot looked away. “Doc! We got another one.”  
“Just- I don't know. Put him over there, Alice.” His French accent thickened with stress and emotion. She could tell speaking English to her had become a chore for him but her French was worse than his English.  
She led them to an empty cot. The pilot laid the man's upper body down as gently as possible. Alice lifted his feet. “Do you know his name?”  
“No.”  
Alice patted his pockets. “I don't have time to frisk him for papers.” She unsnapped the chin strap on his helmet. Dark blood oozed out the side. “Shit! Don't let that helmet come off!” The pilot did as she instructed, holding the helmet tight against the man's skull. “Doc! We need you! Now!”  
“What's going on?” The pilot frowned at her flurry of activity.  
“Skull fracture. Do NOT let that helmet come off.” She began unsnapping, unbuckling and unbuttoning all his accoutrements, grumbling to herself. “I know these are necessary, but this is fucking ridiculous.”  
The other pilot smiled awkwardly. The doctor rushed up, out of breath. “What's going on?”  
“His belly is distended and hard. He's not showing much response to pain. I think his neck is broken. He's definitely got a skull fracture. He-what's your name?”  
“Freddie.”  
“Freddie here is holding the helmet in place. I think once that helmet comes off, he's done.”   
“Let me take a look.” Alice stepped to the side. She looked down sternly at the trio. Her heart swelled and ached. She knew what the doc was going to say before he said it. He'd been saying it alot lately. That didn't make it any easier. “You're right, Alice. Freddie, what happened?”  
“I don't know.” He shrugged. His British accent a pleasant relief from the French. “Plane crashed, I suppose. He must have bailed too late it looks like. Some kids found him hanging by his shoot in a bombed out warehouse not far from here.”  
“That explains the trauma he's suffered. Do you know him?”  
“No. His uniform isn't RAF. I can't tell you much more than that.”  
“He's American. You can tell by the flag patch.” The doctor and the pilot looked up at her. “Hello. American.”  
“I sometimes forget, Alice. Forgive me.”  
“Liar.”   
The doctor gave a half smile. He turned back to the soldier with a sigh. “I'm afraid she's right. When we take off that helmet, he'll bleed out. That's if his skull is still intact. Not to mention, he's bleeding internatlly. We've no way to stop that kinda of trauma here and he last emergency transport to Paris left hours ago. It's a waiting game to see which injury will kill him first.”  
“I think I'll sit here and hold this. I'm not going to be responsible for this man's death.”  
“That's your choice. But it's not your responsibility. It's the Germans.” The doctor patted Freddie's shoulder before moving on to the next. She dropped down next to Freddie on the floor. “You're a pilot?”  
“Yes, I had to bail too. That's why the kids flagged me down. They saw my chute.”  
“Thank you for bringing him. Who knows how long he could have hung there before he was found. At least now, he won't die alone.”   
“Getting him down and basically dragging him here didn't help him though.” They watched the man's chest rise and follow. Each breath shallower than the last. “Your name's Alice?”  
“Alice Taylor.” She took the dying soldier's hand in hers. “You know the funny thing?”  
“What's that?”  
“I'm not even supposed to be here. I was vacationing in Paris and then got stuck here.”  
“That's less than stellar.”  
“No kidding. They needed nurses. So I volunteered. Fuck if I was helping the Germans. And it keeps my mind off things back home.”  
“Oh?”  
“Philandeering fiance. Safe to say, we're no longer engaged. That was the point of the trip.”  
“Ouch, sorry, love.” She shrugged. The soldier's hand became limp. Alice checked his pulse. “Everything alright?”  
“No, his pulse is thready. And his breath keeps getting shallower.” She sighed. “His brain is probably swelling. If he starts to convulse, let go.” Freddie nodded. “How are you getting back to your unit?”  
“I'll use the radio or a phone. Maybe there's transport near by.”  
“Good luck. The German's have us cut off. When we have a clear window, we get the emergencies out when we can. But that's why we can't help the badly injured ones. Just make them comfortable until they pass.” A lump rose in her throat. She looked down at their hands. A tear rolled down her cheek. “Some vacation.” She brushed it away with the back of her hand.  
“It'll be alright. Just keep your head up. You're doing a good thing.” He squeezed her knee. She smiled.  
“That's the first touch that didn't want anything from me in months.”  
Their eyes met and suddenly, his hand on her knee meant more than just a comforting squeeze. The dying soldier gurgled then his body jerked once. Bright red blood oozed out of the side of his mouth.  
Alice couldn't help the sob that choked her. She curled in on herself, weeping against her knees. Warm, strong arms enfolded her. He hushed her and smoothed her hair but didn't stop her from crying. She didn't move to burrow into his chest either. He let her cry within the circle of his arms and she let him hold her.  
When she quieted, she leaned back and sniffed. “I'm sorry about that.”  
Freddie looked down at her, their faces nearly touching. “I have a strong desire to kiss you right now.”  
“Please don't.” He frowned, confused. “You're handsome and all, but I won't risk any attachment, however minute or brief.”Freddie continued to frown but finally nodded. Alice was the first female he'd seen during this war that pleased him to look at and wasn't begging for assistance or throwing herself at a soldier. “Maybe after all this unpleasantness, I could look you up?”  
“We'll see.” Alice moved to stand. Freddie let her. “There's tepid coffee and cots in the sanctuary. You should rest.”  
“You should too.” He guessed that the crying jag probably came about because of exhaustion.  
“I'll be fine.” She left him there, sitting next to the dead pilot, to tend to other wounded. He watched her around the room. She treated every uniform with care and respect, being as positive and strong as she could.

Alice laid the baby down in his crib. She'd dreamt about the church outside Paris last night. She hadn't dreamt of that place since Jay's birth. Her sweet baby boy had taken all the pain and misery out of her, his laughter and smiles a balm to her soul. She'd gone from thinking him a curse that should be gotten rid of, to thinking him her savior. After France, things became very dark for Alice. Especially during the pregnancy.  
Her parents had hired a 24 hour nurse after they knew she was pregnant. They were afraid Alice would try to kill the unborn child and herself in the process. She never did. But she didn't bond with the baby either. She didn't hum or sing to it or rub her belly like most expecting mothers. She refused to touch her belly except to bathe.  
Then Jay came into this world. She screamed and cried and begged to die. But her labor wasn't complicated. The baby, a screaming bundle of soft and pink flesh. The midwife wrapped him and laid him in her arms. Alice didn't want to touch him. But Jay made the normal sounds newborns make and snuggled into his mother.  
Alice frowned down at him, hating him. His tuff of blonde hair, his swollen pink cheeks, his little mouth. They'd told if she didn't breastfeed him, he'd starve. The idea had tempted her. But Alice couldn't do that. She helped those in need, not hurt those who couldn't fend for themselves. She felt shame for thinking that she could harm this child. Yes, Jay was half his father but he was also half her. She could nurture that half that was her to outshine the half that wasn't. She could create beauty out of the darkness that had borne it. Why should the sins of the father be visited upon her son?  
Alice soon fell in love with her son. Where her parents had once worried that she wouldn't take to the baby, they gloried in her dutiful, loving care of him. She was rarely without him. She read to him, not just children's stories but great literary works. She loved him more than any mother had loved her son.When it came time for her to leave on this vacation, she couldn't leave him. A solo trip became a trip for three, herself, Jay and his nursemaid, Nancy. Running into Freddie yesterday had been fate, kismet. Before everything spiralled out of control, he had been the last decent, good thing she'd allowed herself to enjoy.  
Her memory spiralled over the many cigarettes they'd shared in the rubble. Over the times he held her to his chest as the bombs rained down on the town. The countless hours they'd sat back to back in the dark, guarding what little medicine they had left.  
The others assumed they were fucking, but they'd only ever kissed. And touched. She sat in the warm sunshine, remember the feel of his hands on her ribcage. The way he'd dug his fingertips into the soft flesh when she licked and nibbled his ear. If he had stayed on, they would have gone to bed together. But when an American garrison came through, their commanding officer agreed to get him to Paris to get him back to his unit.  
A knock startled her from her memories. It couldn't have been Nancy. She'd gone to see a nickle picture and enjoy the afternoon alone. Alice stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray. She glanced to the open bedroom door. Jay made no sound.Her hand rested on the knob. “Who is it?”  
The person on the other side cleared his throat. “It's-uh-it's Freddie.” Her hands shook as she unlocked the door and let it swing open. “Alice.” Her named left his lips on a breath.  
“Freddie.” She threw her arms around his shoulders, squeezing tightly. His hands unclasped from behind his back to wind around her waist. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in the clean scent. She reluctantly pulled away. “Please. Come in.”  
Alice side stepped so that Freddie could enter. She closed the door behind him then hurried to shut the bedroom door. “Is there a problem?”  
“No, Jay's sleeping.”  
“Oh.” He tried to hide his disappointment. “Your husband?”She laughed. “Oh heaven's no. Jay is my son.”  
“Son?”  
“Yes, Freddie. When a woman has a child and it's a boy, they call it a son.” She smiled.  
He shook his head. “Still cheeky.” He stood at the end of the couch, his hands hanging loosely at his sides. “Where's his father? You sure he'll be alright with my being here?”  
“I'm not married, Freddie. And last I saw his father, he was being arrested by the Allies.” She left that in between them like a rock. “Would you like a drink?”  
“No, thank you. I don't like who I become when I drink.”  
She nodded. “Well, coffee then. Or tea?”  
“No, truly. I'm fine.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “It's fantastic to see you, Alice.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. He wanted to hold her again. To reassure himself that she was well and truly alive.  
“I guess there's a lot we should talk about.”  
“Alice.” He closed the distance between them in a few long strides. “Alice.” He hesitated. “I thought you were dead.”  
“I know.”  
“I would've tried to find you.”  
“It's alright, Freddie.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Sit. Please.” She began to tremble. Memories washed over her. Freddie being here and close enough to touch and wanting to touch her. She swallowed.  
“Are you alright?”  
“No, darling. I'm never alright.” She took a step and laid her head on his chest. “What's that phrase you boys use?”  
“Fubar? Fucked up beyond all reason.”  
“That's the one.” Her eyes widened with remembered emotions. When she relaxed against him, his arms wrapped around her. “After you left with the Americans. After they burned the church out. Those of us who survived were made to work for the Nazi doctors.”  
“I didn't think there were any female prisoners of war.”  
“I'm not military, Freddie. I don't count as a prisoner. They made use of the resources they had available. I might have been American but you have to admit, I'm a damn good nurse and they needed them. So long as I behaved, I didn't get shot.”  
“I'm so sorry, Alice.” She turned her face into his chest. Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to cry. Even in the arms of the only man she wanted, she still refused to cry. She was alive. She had Jay. And here in Freddie's arms, the memories were just that. Memories.  
“Jay's father was one of the Nazi 'doctors'. Scientists, they called themselves.” She scoffed. “Lunatics is more like it. I wasn't raped, but I wasn't given a choice. It was either submit or be taken. And since I refused to be a victim or be victimized by them, I submitted.” She took a deep breath. “He wasn't unkind or violent. I was pretty. I was there for his pleasure. Mine didn't matter. Not that I could have gotten any in that situation.”  
Freddie stood rigid. “You don't have to tell me.”  
“I need you to know.” She looked toward the bedroom. “When the Allies liberated the camps, some had been abandoned, others were taken by surprise. Ours was taken by surprise. Jay's father was arrested along with the other scientists and doctors. I don't know nor care what happened to him after that.”  
Alice turned away from Freddie to sit down on the couch. “I looked for you among the soldiers. Some were British, some American. None of them you. I realized later that I'd been foolish thinking you'd be there. You're a pilot, not infantry."  
“I'm sorry that happened to you, Alice.”  
“Don't be. How could you know I was still alive in the rubble? Only a few of us survived. Those that weren't killed by the bombing, died trapped in the fire.” She shuddered, huddling in on herself. “Do you still hear their screams?”  
He didn't have to ask who. He knew. “Yes.”  
“There was a time before Jay was born that I thought they were the lucky ones. Even when I found out that bastard impregnated me, I didn't wish for death. It seemed so selfish and useless. If I wanted to die, that meant they broke me, that they won. And I couldn't have that. I had planned to give the baby up for adoption.”  
“But you didn't.” She shook her head, wringing her hands.  
“Jay is not his father. He is my son. And if I raise him with love, he'll know love. If I raise him with the hate I feel for Gunnar, if I let that rage and hurt taint my son, I'm no better than that Nazi piece of shit.”  
“Alice.” He touched her shoulder. “You don't have to explain yourself.”  
“I need you to know. Freddie.” She twisted around, tears in her eyes. “Freddie, I don't know what your life is like. I don't know if there is a place for me. I don't know if you even want me in your life.” She felt desperate, like the words and feelings clawed inside her chest. Like they would explode if she didn't get them out. She wrung her hands painfully.  
“Alice.”  
“Freddie. Please. I didn't think I'd ever see you again when you left the church. And here you are, in Morocco. When I'm here on vacation. It's kismet.”  
“Fate.”  
“Yes. If only-”  
“Alice. Shut up, darling.” He sat on the couch next to her. His large, warm hands enveloped her tiny ones. “Alice, I've loved two women in my life. One, I simply can't be with because we hurt each other too much. And you.” Alice opened her mouth to speak. “Hush. My life is a selfish place. No place for a wife and child. I'm still a horrible person, dealing with horrible things.”  
She bowed her head, nodding. The tears stung but did not fall. “I understand.”  
“Alice. Alice, look at me.” He tipped her chin up and met her gaze, held her. “I thought you were dead. And now, you're here. And just as beautiful as you were in France. We're not the same people, darling.” She started to dip her chin, to bow her eyes, but he held her. “Alice, I want you to look at me.”  
“I understand, Freddie. It was foolish of me to assume.”  
“Alice, love. I've loved you since the day I met you. I never stopped loving you even when I thought you were dead.” He moved the fingers of his hand to cup her jaw. “We're different people in different places. And I'd like to see if we can still love each other.” He leaned in, his lips almost touching hers. “I'm far from perfect. I'm a right bloody mess. But I'd like to see if my demons play well with yours.”  
“Freddie.”  
“Yes. Say my name again.”  
“Freddie. Kiss me.” He did as she asked, kissing her full on the mouth, his left arm circled her and pulled her against him, his right still holding her jaw.  
The door opened. Nancy cleared her throat. They broke the kiss, breathless and beaming.  
“Where do we go from here?”  
“Wherever we want, darling.” She knew it wouldn't be perfect. The war had broke them both. They each had demons to deal with and wounds to heal. But they were alive. They'd found each other again. And maybe he could help her heal and she could help him heal. And maybe, just maybe they'd be whole again.

**Author's Note:**

> Freddie was my first Tom love. I needed to help him find closure after leaving Hester.


End file.
